Couture Events By Ruth
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"Cherished Moments, Lasting Impressions"
My Blog
Blog
Bridezillas: 3 Reasons Nobody Wants to Be Part of Your Day
Posted on February 18, 2014 at 1:05 PM |
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Taking the Hassle Out of Your Wedding Day
Posted on January 20, 2014 at 9:10 PM |
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Becoming the Marriage Magi
Posted on December 23, 2013 at 1:00 PM |
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“I’ll give you all of
me, and you give me all of you” John Legend promises his love in his latest
wedding song. Although romantically poetic, those of us who have been married
or in a long-term relationship for any length of time know that our best actions
are not always reciprocated in the way that we feel they were given. Take for
instance my most recent experience:
So
there I sat at a busy intersection in the middle of rush hour with an
overheated car, two crying babies, and an impatient five year old. Here I was
trying my best to be the supportive spouse and everything had gone wrong. My
day had gone pretty smoothly, before I found myself at the intersection. I had
managed to clean the kitchen, bathrooms, do three loads of laundry, scrub
floors, all in between nursing the twins. Then at 2:45 that afternoon, my phone
rang. To my annoyance, my husband on the other end of the line, asked me to take
a tuxedo back to the store from a wedding we had attended the previous weekend.
To say that I was miffed is an understatement. Three hours and four jugs of water
for a leaky radiator later, I finally made it back home. I had a very terse speech
prepared for Mike the minute he walked through the door. However, when he
walked in and laid his lunch box on the table, the words refused to come. His
eyes were beyond weary and his arm was bandaged from cutting metal. “Babe,
thanks for taking the tux back for me, you’re the best,” he said. My heart
melted as I realized that he had had an equally challenging day, and if I could
do something to lighten his burden, then I was okay with that.
“Love
your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections” Legend
continues. Sometimes, the imperfections that we thought were endearing as
newlyweds can become downright aggravating as time goes on. But embracing these
“flaws” and giving 100 percent of yourself to their needs is so rewarding,
because there will be times when your spouse is the only one giving 100 percent
of themselves to you. It has been said that people fall into three categories
in every relationship: givers, matchers, and takers. Givers tend to care for the needs of
others, matchers keep score and make sure that they always receive something in
return, and takers contribute nothing to the relationship and their main focus
is themselves. Obviously, the most successful relationship is that of the
giver. Feeling unappreciated and taken advantage of can derail the energies of
the giver. When this happens, talk to your spouse about it (read my post “Five
Ways to Handle Conflict in Your Marriage”).
No relationship can work without both parties
making an effort to give emotionally and physically to the other spouse. Sometimes that means putting your phone or tablet down and just listening or recognizing when your spouse needs a hug. In
short, be there. With the holidays,
just days away and the New Year fast approaching, decide to make a conscious
effort to give yourself completely to your relationship. Marriage is so much
happier that way.
What are some ways that you give to your spouse,
tell me in the comments below?
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Five Ways to Handle Conflict in Your Marriage
Posted on October 15, 2013 at 1:03 PM |
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Sixty Years of Togetherness
Posted on September 18, 2013 at 11:25 AM |
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My grandparents recently celebrated their 60th
wedding anniversary. They had a blast re-living so many memories they had
shared together. As I looked over our large group of family members that
included their four sons and their spouses, three goddaughters, twenty
grandchildren, and nineteen great- grandchildren, I couldn’t help but realize that
this is what living and marriage is all about. It’s not about how much you spend
on a wedding, or if the guests will enjoy the calamari versus blackened salmon
more, or if you honeymooned on an exotic island. It’s about creating that
special bond with your spouse that no one or thing can break. It’s about
creating a memorable journey together that will have its ups and downs, but one
that you can face as a team. It’s about instilling your values into your
children, and making sure that your grandchildren are taught the same. It’s
about letting them know about your struggle, and the obstacles you’ve overcome
together. Children should not have a rosy outlook on marriage, but they should not
think of it as torture either; their view of marriage should be a realistic one.
So today, I honor my grandparents who raised four incredible sons and impacted the lives of their grandchildren. The
difficulties they faced, drove them together, instead of apart, it made them
dig their heels in a little bit deeper and hold onto each other a little
tighter when all hell was breaking loose around them. I guess I’m saying all of
this to simply remind myself and you to not “sweat the small stuff” and to keep
in mind that your actions and words will continue to impact your relationship
even after the big day is over and the guests have gone home. Remember to
choose your battles and your words wisely. So have fun planning a fabulous
wedding, but don’t let it overpower the energy that you put into building a
lasting marriage and legacy. |
Food for Thought
Posted on May 26, 2013 at 9:20 AM |
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Location, Location, Location
Posted on May 4, 2013 at 8:18 PM |
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First Things First
Posted on April 23, 2013 at 8:10 PM |
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