Couture Events By Ruth
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|Posted on February 18, 2014 at 1:05 PM||comments (107)|
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|Posted on December 23, 2013 at 1:00 PM||comments (300)|
“I’ll give you all of me, and you give me all of you” John Legend promises his love in his latest wedding song. Although romantically poetic, those of us who have been married or in a long-term relationship for any length of time know that our best actions are not always reciprocated in the way that we feel they were given. Take for instance my most recent experience:
So there I sat at a busy intersection in the middle of rush hour with an overheated car, two crying babies, and an impatient five year old. Here I was trying my best to be the supportive spouse and everything had gone wrong. My day had gone pretty smoothly, before I found myself at the intersection. I had managed to clean the kitchen, bathrooms, do three loads of laundry, scrub floors, all in between nursing the twins. Then at 2:45 that afternoon, my phone rang. To my annoyance, my husband on the other end of the line, asked me to take a tuxedo back to the store from a wedding we had attended the previous weekend. To say that I was miffed is an understatement. Three hours and four jugs of water for a leaky radiator later, I finally made it back home. I had a very terse speech prepared for Mike the minute he walked through the door. However, when he walked in and laid his lunch box on the table, the words refused to come. His eyes were beyond weary and his arm was bandaged from cutting metal. “Babe, thanks for taking the tux back for me, you’re the best,” he said. My heart melted as I realized that he had had an equally challenging day, and if I could do something to lighten his burden, then I was okay with that.
“Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections” Legend continues. Sometimes, the imperfections that we thought were endearing as newlyweds can become downright aggravating as time goes on. But embracing these “flaws” and giving 100 percent of yourself to their needs is so rewarding, because there will be times when your spouse is the only one giving 100 percent of themselves to you. It has been said that people fall into three categories in every relationship: givers, matchers, and takers. Givers tend to care for the needs of others, matchers keep score and make sure that they always receive something in return, and takers contribute nothing to the relationship and their main focus is themselves. Obviously, the most successful relationship is that of the giver. Feeling unappreciated and taken advantage of can derail the energies of the giver. When this happens, talk to your spouse about it (read my post “Five Ways to Handle Conflict in Your Marriage”).
No relationship can work without both parties making an effort to give emotionally and physically to the other spouse. Sometimes that means putting your phone or tablet down and just listening or recognizing when your spouse needs a hug. In short, be there. With the holidays, just days away and the New Year fast approaching, decide to make a conscious effort to give yourself completely to your relationship. Marriage is so much happier that way.
What are some ways that you give to your spouse, tell me in the comments below?
|Posted on October 15, 2013 at 1:03 PM||comments (254)|
|Posted on September 18, 2013 at 11:25 AM||comments (260)|
My grandparents recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. They had a blast re-living so many memories they had shared together. As I looked over our large group of family members that included their four sons and their spouses, three goddaughters, twenty grandchildren, and nineteen great- grandchildren, I couldn’t help but realize that this is what living and marriage is all about. It’s not about how much you spend on a wedding, or if the guests will enjoy the calamari versus blackened salmon more, or if you honeymooned on an exotic island. It’s about creating that special bond with your spouse that no one or thing can break. It’s about creating a memorable journey together that will have its ups and downs, but one that you can face as a team. It’s about instilling your values into your children, and making sure that your grandchildren are taught the same. It’s about letting them know about your struggle, and the obstacles you’ve overcome together. Children should not have a rosy outlook on marriage, but they should not think of it as torture either; their view of marriage should be a realistic one.
So today, I honor my grandparents who raised four incredible sons and impacted the lives of their grandchildren. The difficulties they faced, drove them together, instead of apart, it made them dig their heels in a little bit deeper and hold onto each other a little tighter when all hell was breaking loose around them. I guess I’m saying all of this to simply remind myself and you to not “sweat the small stuff” and to keep in mind that your actions and words will continue to impact your relationship even after the big day is over and the guests have gone home. Remember to choose your battles and your words wisely. So have fun planning a fabulous wedding, but don’t let it overpower the energy that you put into building a lasting marriage and legacy.
|Posted on May 26, 2013 at 9:20 AM||comments (284)|
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|Posted on April 23, 2013 at 8:10 PM||comments (216)|